A Candid View: The Career Mom Experience
Women already face gender inequality in the workplace. They get paid less. They go above and beyond to prove themselves as professionally capable as men, especially in historically male-dominated industries. And they find themselves trapped in unsupportive work cultures. This is compounded with the responsibility for the majority of the unpaid work at home. Career moms are champions.
The career mom who inspires me the most is my wife, Mia Mends. Mia is an incredible mother and brilliant business executive. A graduate of Wellesley College and Harvard Business School, she currently holds the position of Chief Administrative Officer for Sodexo North America. Standing by Mia’s side while she receives recognition for her accomplishments, and witnessing the fruits of her integrity and determination first-hand, have been some of my greatest living treasures.
Her professional success is, without a doubt, tied to her impressive intellect, enduring worth ethic, and strong family values. In Mia’s words:
“We know that we have all been raised with and are bombarded with images that reflect a common bias, sometimes unconscious, that women are caregivers and men are breadwinners. Modern families are challenging those stereotypes in their way, because of the lives they are choosing. I think it speaks to the importance of having a supportive life partner. My husband is an incredible life partner who has given me the space to grow — to excel — and who has encouraged and, in many ways, facilitated my desire to do meaningful work. He has supported the decisions that were in our family’s best interest.”
Progress is on the horizon. But the common bias against women stems from a period that isn’t entirely out of sight. In 1950, female professionals filled only 33.9 percent of U.S. jobs, and less than half of those women had children under the age of 18. Working women have made enormous strides since then. But while hard-working women are now statistically the majority of the American workforce, gaps remain:
- Women earn 82 percent of what men make
- Women hold only 22 percent of C-suite jobs, with just 4 percent representing women of color
- Women are more likely to be promoted in disciplines that are stereotypically considered “women’s work” like healthcare and human resources
- Tech startups — run and managed by males — are notorious for poor recruiting, promotion, and retention of women
Career moms work through unique obstacles daily. The phrase alone — career mom — has confounding implications. A working mom faces added judgment both within and outside the workplace. Society pressures women to choose between raising children and having a career while it inherently expects that men will do both.
When a career woman enters motherhood, she endures guilt and stress because of the competing demands of work and family. The pressure placed upon her is profoundly influenced by the long-standing expectation from society — as well as her own family — to maintain the position as primary household caregiver and coordinator, regardless of how many hours she puts in at the office. Moms consistently spend more daily hours with their children than dads and use more PTO to care for a sick child. They also do significantly more cooking, cleaning, and shopping than their male counterparts.
As Michelle Obama said: “When a father puts in long hours at work, he’s praised for being dedicated and ambitious. But when a mother stays late at the office, she’s sometimes accused of being selfish or neglecting her kids.”
We can’t lose sight of the whole picture though. If we want to change the narrative for working moms, we must also look within. As Mia so wisely suggests, choosing the right life partner is critical. If we don’t have support in the most intimate places — our home — all of the other external progress is fleeting.
“Tradeoffs about career choices should always consider the family unit,” Mia continues. “It’s really freeing to have a life partner who does not encumber, but empowers, and at moments even takes some of his inspiration from me. That has made all the difference in my life.”
